Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Archive for the tag “thoughts”

2/365: Mindscrew

The thoughts
that pollute my head
When I want to rest
Obscure my perception
and insulate me
From experience

The vivid life comes
Before the day begins
Stops making sense
Long before it dissolves
Leaving strands to translate

#365poems at Schmutzie.com

Scraps from yesterday

I decided to go downtown to get a little writing done yesterday.  When I go to a coffee-shop to write, though, things come out in spurts: not really a coherent narrative but just whatever farts out of my head.  Thoughts, character sketches, playing around with words and phrases that pop into mind.

Some of the better ones (with minor tweaking for clarity):

Bloody blades of a story.  I can see the nakedness of your thought before I moved into your sphere. Young collegiate women with their schoolwork, giggles barely rising through the music; an electric throwback.  With what should I keep myself entertained?

The fog of my own thoughts and insecurities.  It takes a special person to able to cut through this.  If you can manage this, and make me a little more human when I interact with you, you’re in.  (The sky turned grey).  I’ve grown to realize these aren’t flukes, but not something to take for granted.

The cars pass by, red tail lights streaking past the stationary glow of each sign across the street.  Several stories above, a crane teeters limp – at rest.

Grace was always looking at people with a lack of patience and an interrogative stare – as if she demanded that your returning her gaze clarified what the fuck it was you wanted.

Cha cha Charlie –  Waiting for the groove to end.

I decided that I’m actually going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year; I really want to get my writing discipline back, even if it is just to vomit words onto a page for me to pick coherent nuggets out of later.

Gnawing

Is there anything as annoying as having an uncontrolled thought gnawing at your brain?  To be more specific: do any of you get this vague feeling that comes all over you that you have absolutely no way of articulating or even identifying?  It’s perpetually at the tip of your tongue; gaslighting you by making you think you had a flash of brilliance only to have you agonize over what it was.  When you finally arrive at a description for what just passed, it never even does it the smallest bit of justice.  You might as well have opened a book and picked the first sentence on page 5 to describe something that was so real to you only minutes before.  I go through these runs where I’m like that.

What I’ve been doing is typing a whole paragraph, then deleting it.  I’ve been trying to sort too many things out in my head these days, but not sure what it is that’s even worth sorting out in a public space like this.  These things I’ve already touched upon in previous posts, but I’ve yet to fully dive into examining these parts of my life.  Maybe I just need to work it all out in a piece of thinly-veiled fiction.

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