Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Archive for the tag “personal growth”


I’ve been terrible about blogging lately, and to be honest, I’ve hit another block of dissatisfaction when it comes to this and the other blogs I keep in my name.  I’m wondering if this is too much of a diversion from keeping an “official” web presence under my real name, but I realize doing that has implications on my professional image.  I like having the potential for wider audience than a friends-only Livejournal post, but don’t feel as free to write about more negative emotional states or sexuality here than I would there.  This space is supposed to keep me writing, but I find the block is coming at me again when I’m here.

I was glad to see 2012 off: there were a few highlights, and an important life change, but I also had another bout of illness (whooping cough in August/September), my parents’ dog died in Novemberand the whole spell of unemployment I went through until I did get work took its toll on me.  It really did not help that I was living at home in an atmosphere that seemed to enable pessimism and reclusiveness, and the combination of it all brought me the biggest crisis in self-confidence I suffered in about 7 years.  I’m glad to be in my own space again, and working at a steady job for now (even if it is a term position that may not last too much longer): I feel a bit more in control of my life and my destiny, and that helps.

But what of the new year? Where do I want to be at years’ end?  Grand pronouncements that a year is going to be better than the last tend to blow up in the face of the person that make them, as do promises of lofty goals.  I tried doing 30 before 30 last year.  Didn’t exactly get everything done, but it was worth a try.  I thought I would try to get another list of goals posted sometime by the end of the week, which I’m still trying to winnow down.

I think it’s time to think about what I really want out of life again, though.  I’m so used to practicality and trying to be satisfied with the low-hanging fruit, and I really need a little more inspiration this time around.  If you have a suggestion for something to get out of this year, I would really love to hear it.


The extension: a wash

Well, that didn’t go as well as I hoped.

I gave myself three extra months to complete all the incomplete items on my 30 Before 30 list.  Not really much progress since that point; maybe going to some place in NB I haven’t been (although that’s a stretch), but that’s it.  I think what it shows me is either that my bad habits have a tighter grip on me than I realize, or I really don’t want to improve myself and just want to give the impression that I do.

30 Before 30: Update five

This is my last progress report on my 30 Before 30 list: my deadline is next Monday, the 2nd.


  • I have my learner’s permit.  So far I’ve been practicing going forward, backing up, turning and signaling in a church parking lot that’s a bit out of town.
  • I’ve decided that my old address (the one with my full name on it) is going to be where my portfolio rests when it is done.
  • Went up to Bathurst with Kyle and shot his entry for my Simple Portraits series.
  • Booked my trip out of town for the week before my 30th birthday (I leave tomorrow).
  • Applied for more jobs.
  • Did one free write for one hour.
Needs work
  •  I’m thinking of seeing a live music performance while I’m in Halifax.
  • I still need to finish my letters.  I’m going to work on them this week (I say that all the time).
  • I’m trying to think of a timeline to accomplish all the other goals I won’t be able to meet in the next week.  I decided to incorporate this into my 35 before 35.

So I’ll be in Halifax from tomorrow until Sunday, then up to Moncton for a night.  If anyone wants to meet up or get a bite/drink or have me take a picture of you, let me know.  Offer only open to people that I have an idea who they are (sorry, murderers).

30 Before 30 List: Update three

Once again, time for my bi-weekly 30 Before 30 update:


  • I’ve gone ahead and studied the New Brunswick driver’s manual, but I haven’t actually booked a sitting with the driver examiner to take the test for my learner’s permit.
  • Still no fast food this month.  I’m quite proud of this, actually.  Once the month is done, I may crave something but I’m going to keep track of how often I get fast food and try to keep it at a minimum.
  • I started applying for jobs again.
  • Still avoiding new purchases of DVDs, books and CDs, and still going through my unwatched pile.
  • I’ve started going through photos and watermarking them for my portfolio.

To work on:

  • I didn’t get around to taking any new portraits for my Simple Portraits series, but I will get something done in the next two weeks.
  • This is going to be the time I plan my week of meals.   I actually cooked burgers from scratch on Wednesday and did a pretty good job at it, but I’m going to look for some different recipes to try.  One thing I’m thinking of trying is lasagna.
  • As I’ve posted, I’m doing a self-imposed exile from the internet starting later tonight, and will not use a computer until Monday morning.  This actually would be a good time to work on some of my other goals.
  • Book an appointment with the driver examiner.
  • Complete my passport application.

I’m still thinking about what I’m going to do with my 35 before 35.  Most of what I want to accomplish is travel-related: I’m looking for suggestions for goals for that list.

Have a good weekend!

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