Pots and Owls
I’m at a bit of a crossroads in terms of what I want to do with my blog again. Part of the reason I liked having a blog under this alias was to allow me to post a bit more in detail about politics and issues that I may tend to get a little strident on (particularly gay rights), without it being the first thing that comes up when my real name is Googled. I still see value in keeping a log of my everyday life, as cyclic as it may seem to be right now.
I feel like that while there are benefits to blogging under an alias, I feel like I fall into bad habits on here; especially when I start posting when I’m in a bad mood. The posts feel like there’s a “cry for attention” aspect to them. I just don’t feel like my blogging is currently up to snuff right now; I know I’ve written better than what I have in the last little while. In the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about how the world just seems to be getting worse off, how the news always gets more depressing, and how people just find new ways to make me roll my eyes. The main thing that keeps me fighting apathy and despair is the art, music, sex and potential that the world still offers.
I want to use the blog that’s set up under my real name again. Not quite as frequently as this one will be used, but I feel like there’s not really a whole lot to it aside from a few photographs, links to articles I’ve written, and a vague promise that the site will be better someday. If that is going to be one of the first things people find when they look for me, I want them to at least think I’m treating my ambitions seriously. I like feeling that people who connect with me have an idea who I am in the real world instead of this nebulous identity that I have to keep cordoned off. The main person I should be writing for is myself, but I also want to feel like I’m pushing myself to ensure that what I do put out there is damn good.