Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Derailed

I’ve been unable to sleep very well in the last few days: my head fills with thoughts late at night.  I get the urge to write some of these thoughts down, but I also fight the impulse in hopes of getting some sleep.  I hope to have this all licked by the time April rolls around, but I’m getting tired of it.   Part of the reason I stay up so late is that it’s my time to be alone in the house.  This week, though, I’ve been feeling so derailed.  It’s futile to compare yourself to others but I can’t help but feel like I’m always at a standstill, or I get lost in some trivial pursuit while others are getting shit done.  The small goals are helping somewhat, but I still feel like I don’t have enough patience to see anything major through.

Once I managed to nod off and tune out the world last night, I had another dream with an airport setting last night, although the particulars are now lost to me like so many other dreams I’ve had.  If there’s anything to listen to in these dreams, I need to get myself out of town for a little bit.

I’m thinking about taking my weekend offline sometime in the near future.

 

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