Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30


Is there anything as annoying as having an uncontrolled thought gnawing at your brain?  To be more specific: do any of you get this vague feeling that comes all over you that you have absolutely no way of articulating or even identifying?  It’s perpetually at the tip of your tongue; gaslighting you by making you think you had a flash of brilliance only to have you agonize over what it was.  When you finally arrive at a description for what just passed, it never even does it the smallest bit of justice.  You might as well have opened a book and picked the first sentence on page 5 to describe something that was so real to you only minutes before.  I go through these runs where I’m like that.

What I’ve been doing is typing a whole paragraph, then deleting it.  I’ve been trying to sort too many things out in my head these days, but not sure what it is that’s even worth sorting out in a public space like this.  These things I’ve already touched upon in previous posts, but I’ve yet to fully dive into examining these parts of my life.  Maybe I just need to work it all out in a piece of thinly-veiled fiction.


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One thought on “Gnawing

  1. I have found that just allowing my fingers to type and not letting my mind control everything written gives me my best works. If I allow my mind to just go blank and make my fingers move I find myself suprised at what I find. Sometimes that feeling of having a cluttered mind that creates a barrier between us and our ability to write is just a piece of cloud that needs to be seen through.

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