Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Five-minute free write

Head in the grinder and my eeyes are popping because my forehead sounds like it’s caught i a vice, and I just won’t go to sleep at a decent hour because the night is when I finally have a few minutes tomyself without prying eyes and clingy neediness.  God I hate being here.  I want to gwet the fuck out odf this town and just escape the smother and get the rest of  my life back on track.  I am addicted to sugar and caffiene and carbonation, and I feel like I don’t have any way top really get anywhere unless I break free from this place.  I feel trapped and I am worried about ever getting out.  I don’t like being here, and that’s something I can’t overemphasizer enough.  Not the cats can even hold me back.  I  feel like I have to do something fast or I will just be nothing or even worse, something lame. I sound like a dork when I say this.  Or just an overdramatic teenager.  Buit I feel my growth being arrested and I can’t stand not really doing anything useful with my life and  the longer I stay here, the less likely I will rejoin th eliving.  No fucking way..  Time to leave.  Time to get out.  I am living my life for someone else and I am sick of it.  I am sick of not being my true self and I can’t keep the charade much longer.


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One thought on “Five-minute free write

  1. Pogue Mahone on said:

    I know exactly how you feel. I hate living in this town too and feel trapped like a caged animal. I hate it here but it costs too much $$$$ to move but I want so badly to leave.

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