Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Five-minute free write

Save the smug pedantic proselytation of your religiousity, the one that demands that we somehow deserve our fates.  I don’t even know who to rant against anymore.  All I need is the sound of a drum hitting  and a word being formed in a certain way. I think I run and I think I walk.   need to be sure I’m doing this.  The song makes me sleep and I thunder awake when I realize where I am these days.  The past is owed to me, and I think the summer is getting crappier every year.  Spice and pepper, kick my ass.  Funny how the heart burns these days  I don’t feel anything this time, just remember it.  Myhead is heavy again, flopping from one side to another and I think of the story of the fish that quoted Shakespeare, and this thought stream I have makes me question my intelligence and sanity.  I write about myself a lot, hold onto the same ideas I had about the world when I was 18, when I was more sure about the light and more willing to suppress parts about myself I didn’t like.  Is there a truth to anything anymore/  I want it, but I want the bacon to be perfect and crisp but not burnt black and bitter.  B is for bubble, like the Sesame Street song says, and I find the love of the world is not enough to

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