Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Too many words

I’ve found some of my old notebooks that I’ve used for random writing  over the past few years.  There’s a mixture of a number of different scraps, ideas and inspirations that for some reason never coalesced into a fully developed, executable idea.  Sometimes when I look over my old work with fresh eyes I get some fleeting idea that I’m able to use to expand it, only for that idea to get lost in my brain like so many other impulses.

I took my camera out to the Public Gardens yesterday.  I find I really haven’t been taking enough pictures or even going on enough walks as I want to.  I know much of the solution to that is just to go out and do it, but there are times when my mood and energy levels are low and I just can’t focus on what I  love.  I’ve always tended to roll in the muck, though.

My friends compliment me on my photography and writing quite a bit.  I find when I’m fully into either I get this pleasure and this calm from doing it, but I look at what I take pictures of and what I write and wonder if this was the best I was able to come up with.  Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing my best work.  This perfectionism really comes to a head sometimes when I decided that what I have written is not worth submitting for a job application.

Since I’m in Halifax, between my job hunting and plans with friends I think I want to get some time to myself to sit and write.  Just at length…raw, unfiltered prose to manicure.  I need to stop being intimidated by the blank page or text field.


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