Too many words
I’ve found some of my old notebooks that I’ve used for random writing over the past few years. There’s a mixture of a number of different scraps, ideas and inspirations that for some reason never coalesced into a fully developed, executable idea. Sometimes when I look over my old work with fresh eyes I get some fleeting idea that I’m able to use to expand it, only for that idea to get lost in my brain like so many other impulses.
I took my camera out to the Public Gardens yesterday. I find I really haven’t been taking enough pictures or even going on enough walks as I want to. I know much of the solution to that is just to go out and do it, but there are times when my mood and energy levels are low and I just can’t focus on what I love. I’ve always tended to roll in the muck, though.
My friends compliment me on my photography and writing quite a bit. I find when I’m fully into either I get this pleasure and this calm from doing it, but I look at what I take pictures of and what I write and wonder if this was the best I was able to come up with. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing my best work. This perfectionism really comes to a head sometimes when I decided that what I have written is not worth submitting for a job application.
Since I’m in Halifax, between my job hunting and plans with friends I think I want to get some time to myself to sit and write. Just at length…raw, unfiltered prose to manicure. I need to stop being intimidated by the blank page or text field.