Not In The Past

Looking forward from 30

Pretty Words

My original goal for this blog was to just get into the habit of writing again, without really much thought into presenting a coherent story or log of my day so far.  I often forget I can just write whatever when I’m using the internet without having to tailor to my audience or to have a finished story.   I just want to be able to use this space for whatever my imagination cooks up, but I have been working on a short story: it’s just too easy to get distracted with the particulars before I can even work something out on the page.

I think that in case I end up somehow hobnobbing with the moderately financially secure and somewhat interesting, I would at least need to refine this air of dreamlike observation.  I work on it whenever I sit in a cafe with my pen and pad, sucking blended juices and ice through a plastic straw.  I can almost pass for contemplative, but I really don’t mull over anything besides how to spend the next 20 minutes before they lock up and send me and the wizard-bearded man reading the newspaper on our way.  Maybe it’s my surroundings; very lackadaisical with the clouds drifting faster than everything else seems to be moving.  I see cars speeding in the distance but from my perspective they might as well be insects, only making everything else look even more still.

Sometimes I can actually create whole imagined encounters and conversations when I’m just trying to keep distracted, but to actually translate these from brain wave to written word is just something I haven’t disciplined myself into doing yet.   There’s always this disconnect: where you are vs. where you want to be.  Vivid images somehow falling into the traps of not being able to find the correct word to do it justice.


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